Lostandtorn (original poster new member #86272) posted at 3:17 AM on Saturday, June 21st, 2025
I recently cheated on my husband. And I am not making excuses for my actions. I take complete responsibility. But I am trying to sort out all of my feelings and take a hard look at myself. My husband has cheated on me at least 2 times in the past. 10 plus years ago. About a month ago, I saw that he was following all of these instagram sites of barely clad women, most in compromising positions. I confronted him and he agreed to stop following them. When I asked him why he was looking at those sites, he said if I dressed like that, he wouldn’t have to look at those women. I am also 90% sure he watches porn.
I would like to get opinions from both wayward spouses and betrayed spouses on your opinion on this type of behavior.
Formerpeopleperson ( member #85478) posted at 11:02 AM on Saturday, June 21st, 2025
Women are big consumers of "romance" novels.
If a married woman enjoys such, is she cheating?
It’s never too late to live happily ever after
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 3:19 PM on Saturday, June 21st, 2025
I searched the web using DuckDuckGo on 'is porn cheating survey results'. The Hindustan Times reported on a survey of 2000 people in the US, and 54% of the respondents apparently viewed video - but not literary - porn as cheating.
IMO, that doesn't matter, IMO. It's something each partnership needs to workout for themselves.
IMO, he doesn't have to look at other women's photos. If he thinks he does, he's got problems, IMO. I've lived a long time without IG and Tiktok, and I don't miss them. OTOH, reels on FB definitely catch my eye - women, tools, bicycles, psychology all get my attention. My W has always been comfortable with that.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
Unhinged ( member #47977) posted at 8:28 PM on Saturday, June 21st, 2025
If a couple agrees that porn is cheating, it's cheating.
I don't consider porn to be cheating. Others do, for various reasons.
Married 2005
D-Day April, 2015
Divorced May, 2022
"The Universe is not short on wake-up calls. We're just quick to hit the snooze button." -Brene Brown